Under no circumstances should you touch the crown jewels.
A fifth-consecutive loss is tough enough to take, but imagine the long-term damage that Henry Anderson could have suffered after an agitated Cordarrelle Patterson grabbed Anderson’s private parts in a scrum early in the fourth quarter of the Jets loss to the Patriots on Sunday.
“The man was all in my face, trying to put his s–t in my face,” Patterson told reporters after the game. “I tried to move him out of there…. I’m a grown man. I don’t need anybody’s ass and d– and balls in my face, man.”
Anderson’s fiancée, Saryn Rorie, posted a video on the crotch-grabbing incident on Twitter with poignant message: “Ummmm Henry is mine.”
It’s a miracle that Anderson said he didn’t feel any pain in the moment.
There’s your silver lining to another loss right there, folks. The man escaped serious harm.