Turning a shameful blind eye and ear to protesters and the cries of anguished victims of sexual assault, cowardly senators Susan Collins and disgusting Joe Manchin buckled to the whims of Donald Trump, an accused sexual assaulter himself, and announced that they’d vote for Brett Kavanaugh, party boy, drunk, accused perjurer and sexual assaulter to a lifetime seat on the Supreme Court.

Advertisement

As protesters wailed, Collins disgracefully tried the old boy politician’s trick of saying how terrible she feels for victims of sexual abuse but decided nonetheless to vote for the most sexually tainted man to ever be nominated to the highest court in the land.

You can’t have it both ways Susan.

Are you so desperate to hold onto your job that you’d destroy your reputation and vote like one of the boys in the face of victimized women?

You know that by voting for this man, you are voting to allow sexual assault and rape to continue to run rampant in this country. Have you no soul, have you no empathy, have you no dignity? Have you never been a victim yourself?

Well, I have. Twice. Once in college I had to jump out of a boy’s car on a dark beach and walk miles on a highway road until I got to a pay phone to call my parents to pick me up. I don’t remember the boy’s name, or even the year. I just remember that I barely escaped.

Years later I went out to dinner with the dad of a child in my daughter’s class. Since he lived in my apartment building, we came back to my apartment as neighbors would normally do, and out of nowhere he attacked me and exposed himself. Somehow I had the presence of mind to jump back and tell him that my daughter’s father was bringing her home any minute and I’d meet him back at his apartment. Only an arrogant man would believe it.

So this giant guy — he was 6’4” and I’m 5 foot nothing—hiked up his pants and went home to wait for me. I hoped he’d die on the way upstairs, or at least die waiting.

Maybe you, Susan, are one of the lucky four out of five women who hasn’t been attacked. Maybe that’s why you are so cavalier about the fate of the rest of us.

And what about you, Joe Manchin? Since you don’t have to worry about being sexually assaulted, let me ask: Are you such a weakling that as a red state Democrat you are afraid to vote for the future of all American women and instead vote only your own future?

How will you live with yourself if God forbid your wife, your daughters, your granddaughters are ever one-in-five?

Joe, you fought for the safety of miners, but will vote to destroy what little safety women have against rape.

Yes, as Kavanugh threatened, “What goes around does come around.” Hopefully your cowardice will come around to bite you both in the butt at election time.

*

Drew Barry More or Less

In the most bizarre fake interview ever not given, EgyptAir Magazine—that bastion of truth in journalism—printed an incoherent, insane, seemingly fake, not to mention offensive, interview with Drew Barrymore. Or as the writer called her “Barrimoor.”

Advertisement

Upset by being accused of fakery, EgyptAir Magazine countered that the bizarre hit-yet-puff piece was written by none other than Aida Takla-O’Reilly, (whose byline was misspelled as “Tekla”), past president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (HFPA)! Well that clears it up. That bunch is about as real as Dunder Mifflin!

HFPA if you don’t know runs the Golden Globes, an awards show that’s as legit as a Russian shell company. The whole thing consists of just 90 (count ‘em 90) freeloading freelancers—most of whom are lucky if they occasionally score a gig reporting a story for a media outlet no one’s ever heard of. In fact, Vox found among HFPA’s “journalists” one body builder, a failed actor and other bottom feeders, all of whom have been accused of accepting graft, er, swag, from producers to vote for their shows and movies.

In her own equally nutty defense, the Takla-O’Reilly tweeted, “This doesn’t negate the fact that the interview with Drew Barrimoor which took place in New York is genuine &far from fake.”

In fact, it’s as real as the name “Barrimoor.”

*

Russian Tied To Trump Tower Meeting Mysteriously Dies In Copter Crash

Looks like those nutty Russians or as they are known in the White House, Trump election fixers, have been forced to stop poisoning people with too much info.

Now they just conveniently die in helicopter crashes.

Take Russian Deputy Attorney General Saak Karapetyan. He’s the guy accused of directing Natalya Veselnitskaya, the lawyer to meet with dopey Don Jr., clueless Jared Kushner, and convicted crook, Paul Manafortand at the infamous Trump Tower meeting. Karapetyan just died in a helicopter crash in a remote forest in Russia. Damn! Don’t you hate when that happens?

Maybe the copter was over the weight limit from Karapetyan carrying all those secrets aboard.

Aside from getting caught for disastrous Trump Tower meeting, the pair had also recently been caught recruiting a Swiss prosecutor investigating Russian mob bank transactions there. Oops.

So, three countries, similar crimes, right?

Sure, but in Switzerland, they fired the prosecutor for “unauthorized clandestine behavior” and allegations of bribery and breaching secrecy laws.

In the US Manafort was offered a plea deal and is now reportedly getting the VIP treatment in the can.

In Russia you just die in a helicopter crash.

*

Mike “The Situation’s” in a bad situation

If you’re Donald Trump and you evade bazillions in taxes in real estate deals and money you got from your money bags daddy, as the New York Times alleges, you become president.

If you are “Jersey Shore’s” Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, and have one count of tax evasion, you go to jail.

On Friday Sorrentino, supported by his “Jersey Shore: Family Vacation” reunion series castmates—who haven’t miss a photo op since Lincoln was president—was sentenced to eight months behind bars and two years of supervised release.

If they counted up Trump’s alleged tax evasions he’d be looking at—what?— 600 years?

*

Trump’s Paper Trail Exposed!

Giving new meaning to “leaving a paper trail” —in what should be the most embarrassing presidential moment since George Bush the elder puked on the Chinese— President Trump boarded AIr Force One trailing a giant piece of toilet paper on his shoe. Born without the gene for shame, however, Trump will probably tweet that it was just fake press, er, footage, or better still, that “The wad is now THE most valuable piece of toilet paper in ALL American history!!!

Advertisement

Facebook Comments